Saarang, saarang, saarang!!! This has been the talk of the town for the past week and as everything which begins must end Saarang let down the curtains for the year 2006 with the hype, junta (IIT slang for people…), sponsors and entertainment skyrocketing year by year. After a lot of voices striking my eardrums repeatedly (machan! lots of events and lots of figures…), I decided to spend my weekend at saarang 2006 at least as a part of the mighty audience and it was really awesome. For the unaware geeks, saarang is considered to be the mother of all cultural festivals and one of the largest in the country attracting a large youth mass. The festive is conducted for five days and provides entertainment to the core pertaining to numerous facets of interest.

On Saturday night the OAT (Open Air Theatre) was over flooded even before the light music show was about to start. After a short hiatus I somehow made my way into the enthralling campus and got into the OAT and searched for my comrades who were already seated there and finally settled down. The show nite was free of charge and everyone came there to cheer up their colleges. We tried to get the tickets for the choreo night but were too late and got only ‘sold out’ tones from the coordinators. One thing which I still feel for missing was the Shankhar-Ehsaan-Loy show and it increased when in the paper my fauvorite journo wrote a lot of appreciating verses about the show. Missed a lot of my fav songs

For those who have nothing to do, informals are conducted throughout the day at various spots wherein you can exhibit any talent you possess and merely watching them gives you great fun. A lot of gift coupons also on offer. Quiz shows also form a major part of saarang and different quizzes are conducted over the five days. As I didn’t participate in any of the quizzes this year I went onto see the finals of AV quiz and it provided a good knowledgeable time pass. (Next post on a fussy incident there!!!). Even when I was leaving a large crowd was standing for the Led Zeppelica rock show (the curtain closer of saarang ‘06). Anyway I also have set my footprints in IIT during Saarang 2006

This time I was not an active participant due to lack of awareness and the absence of the driving force, my friend Samba because of his adventurous accident. He is the one who pulls us all for the symposiums and culturals, even though I scold him for making us to bunk classes we end up happily. If he were present the scenario would have been different. It was deserted without Samba and his absence was felt really. If things go on well, I would pitch my tent for all the five days during saarang 2007

Kudos SAARANG!!! Kudos IIT!!!

Saarang, saarang, saarang!!! This has been the talk of the town for the past week and as everything which begins must end Saarang let down the curtains for the year 2006 with the hype, junta (IIT slang for people…), sponsors and entertainment skyrocketing year by year. After a lot of voices striking my eardrums repeatedly (machan! lots of events and lots of figures…), I decided to spend my weekend at saarang 2006 at least as a part of the mighty audience and it was really awesome. For the unaware geeks, saarang is considered to be the mother of all cultural festivals and one of the largest in the country attracting a large youth mass. The festive is conducted for five days and provides entertainment to the core pertaining to numerous facets of interest.

On Saturday night the OAT (Open Air Theatre) was over flooded even before the light music show was about to start. After a short hiatus I somehow made my way into the enthralling campus and got into the OAT and searched for my comrades who were already seated there and finally settled down. The show nite was free of charge and everyone came there to cheer up their colleges. We tried to get the tickets for the choreo night but were too late and got only ‘sold out’ tones from the coordinators. One thing which I still feel for missing was the Shankhar-Ehsaan-Loy show and it increased when in the paper my fauvorite journo wrote a lot of appreciating verses about the show. Missed a lot of my fav songs

For those who have nothing to do, informals are conducted throughout the day at various spots wherein you can exhibit any talent you possess and merely watching them gives you great fun. A lot of gift coupons also on offer. Quiz shows also form a major part of saarang and different quizzes are conducted over the five days. As I didn’t participate in any of the quizzes this year I went onto see the finals of AV quiz and it provided a good knowledgeable time pass. (Next post on a fussy incident there!!!). Even when I was leaving a large crowd was standing for the Led Zeppelica rock show (the curtain closer of saarang ‘06). Anyway I also have set my footprints in IIT during Saarang 2006

This time I was not an active participant due to lack of awareness and the absence of the driving force, my friend Samba because of his adventurous accident. He is the one who pulls us all for the symposiums and culturals, even though I scold him for making us to bunk classes we end up happily. If he were present the scenario would have been different. It was deserted without Samba and his absence was felt really. If things go on well, I would pitch my tent for all the five days during saarang 2007

Kudos SAARANG!!! Kudos IIT!!!

I just now returned home after attending the odyssey quiz 2006 and I am feeling both happy and also little sad. Apart from the Landmark quiz, this is considered to be one of the big quizzes to be held in Chennai and also in the country. With over 800 teams competing for the top eight spots to book a berth in the finals, these quizzes offer myriad audience prizes making everyone glued on to their seats till the end and the reason for my happiness today is that I too was one amid the audience jumping out with the answers and *yeah* got a gift voucher.

I went on to the Music academy along with my team mates Anoop and Balaji and we as a team put on a decent show. We scored 14 on 35 with the cut off score to get on stage being 23. Due thanks to the aunty who was sitting in the front row Also we messed up with some of the answers or else we would have scored more but there are a lot of brainy intelligent guys off the stage who deserve a place on stage before us.

Another jolly facet of these quizzes is that prizes are given out for funky team names and as they are read they make you roll on the floor. Another exultant note was that my chum Mahesh got the best team name and bagged the cherished Rs.3000 gift voucher for the team name “jab thak samosa me aalo rahega, tab thak odyssey quiz chalu rahega”. Congrats Mahesh and Hari.

The happenings also made me a little sad because I did not get on stage (remind you first things first), even though I don’t deserve it now I guess desire is not bad. The question which I got for the audience prize was by far one of the sitters of the day (to identify Dan Brown); I guess 75% of the junta there knew it. Actually the quiz master signaled a green shirt before me to answer but I snatched the mike and blew. The chap felt very bad for missing the Rs.250 voucher and would have cursed me a lot. Also my fauvorite quizzer failed to win. The first thought was to get “The hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy” with the voucher but I would have to part it with my friends as per agreement. Anyway a nice outing today.

I just now returned home after attending the odyssey quiz 2006 and I am feeling both happy and also little sad. Apart from the Landmark quiz, this is considered to be one of the big quizzes to be held in Chennai and also in the country. With over 800 teams competing for the top eight spots to book a berth in the finals, these quizzes offer myriad audience prizes making everyone glued on to their seats till the end and the reason for my happiness today is that I too was one amid the audience jumping out with the answers and *yeah* got a gift voucher.

I went on to the Music academy along with my team mates Anoop and Balaji and we as a team put on a decent show. We scored 14 on 35 with the cut off score to get on stage being 23. Due thanks to the aunty who was sitting in the front row Also we messed up with some of the answers or else we would have scored more but there are a lot of brainy intelligent guys off the stage who deserve a place on stage before us.

Another jolly facet of these quizzes is that prizes are given out for funky team names and as they are read they make you roll on the floor. Another exultant note was that my chum Mahesh got the best team name and bagged the cherished Rs.3000 gift voucher for the team name “jab thak samosa me aalo rahega, tab thak odyssey quiz chalu rahega”. Congrats Mahesh and Hari.

The happenings also made me a little sad because I did not get on stage (remind you first things first), even though I don’t deserve it now I guess desire is not bad. The question which I got for the audience prize was by far one of the sitters of the day (to identify Dan Brown); I guess 75% of the junta there knew it. Actually the quiz master signaled a green shirt before me to answer but I snatched the mike and blew. The chap felt very bad for missing the Rs.250 voucher and would have cursed me a lot. Also my fauvorite quizzer failed to win. The first thought was to get “The hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy” with the voucher but I would have to part it with my friends as per agreement. Anyway a nice outing today.

Even as a lull lecture on computer architecture was going on in my class, I never heard a word as was my habit but this time it was because I was unable to forget about Priyanka, Esha and others (Oh no!!! not that way…) let me make it clear, they were the center characters of the book One night @ the call center by one of my fauvorite authors Chetan bhagat and I was unable to come out of the book which I completed chewing the previous night.

Chetan starts off this book in style as his former one Five point someone (the turning point of the story at the starting of the book, really kindles your interest!). In the prologue he portrays his meeting with a pretty girl on an empty train towards Delhi which has given rise to this book. The girl exemplifies this narrative to Chetan on getting a promise that it would be made into a book after a plethora of heated discussions. Kudos to that pretty lass who has been the root cause for the origin of this classy book.

One night @ the call center is a story about six persons who worked at a call center named Connexions in Gurgaon near Delhi. As they all work in an American call center all their names are altered – Shyam mehra (Sam Marcy), Varun (Vroom) a trendy guy who feels that the ass hole Americans have nothing but money, Radhika (Regina) a caring daughter in law, Esha (Eliza) a hot babe having aspirations of becoming a great model, Priyanka and military uncle. Shyam and Priyanka had broken up from their love due to some misunderstandings and also her psycho mother felt that she could not lead a happy life with an unsettled call center chap. On this day, as usual they were on their way to the WSAG bay, their workplace but this day was out of the ordinary and special.

Shyam narrates his memorable past dates with Priyanka as and when a thought about her disturbs him. These six folks work under an unruly, uncaring moron named Bakshi and all were waiting for banging their boss’ head (Almost everyone wants to do that ;)). Connexions had its base at Boston and was on the verge of right sizing or firing its workforce as the call traffic had reduced. Everyone is made to feel that Americans are fools when he puts up the 35=10 call center strategy i.e. “a thirty five year old American’s brain and IQ is the same as a ten year old Indian’s brain”.

The systems failed at the bay and as everyone were about to stretch out their limbs Priyanka reveals her marriage proposal with Mr. Microsoft (as Shyam calls him…). Shyam was the virtual team leader and he taps the phone line of the emergency landline and eavesdropped her fiancé’s phone call and gets screwed up later when everyone comes to know about that. Everyone one was looking forward priyanka’s rich panorama with a brand new Lexus, posh home with a pool and all other pleasures despite the sad fact that she had dated with Shyam, the pitiable soul.

Meanwhile vroom had a predilection for Esha and has proposed to her twice but she rejected his proposal saying various reasons but the real cause stayed in her. She disliked herself and disclosed off her untold secret to Shyam saying that she had slept with a model agent for he promised her a chance. Radhika a sensible lady cries out when she comes to know that her lovable husband had his sights on another girl. Military uncle had parted off from his son’s family and had his own melancholies. At this juncture the ass hole Bakshi sends off the website proposal of Shyam and vroom to Boston saying it was his own and vroom goes nuts as his long spent hard work has been shattered.

They all go off for a ride to have a drink with all problems loaded. The qualis which the alcohol filled vroom was driving rolled over and soon was balancing on rods with everyone sighting death. No network on their cell and everyone thought that it was the end as vroom’s phone rang displaying GOD calling… everyone was taken in for a surprise and God asked everyone what they wanted in life, if he saved them. All the six lamented and laid down their proposals. They are saved and then head back to their bay and vroom devices the plan of his life (first to save the call center, then to kick off Bakshi and finally to succeed in life).

He hooks on to Bakshi’s system and sends a prank mail to Esha asking her for a night and also vroom takes a print out of all the porn sites which Bakshi had visited and takes control of the call center blackmailing Bakshi. He asks all agents to call their American clients and say that their system has been affected by a virus and may crash down. “To check open MS-WORD and type =rand (200,99) and press enter”, if some rubbish turns out it is confirmed. It works really and is a bug in MS-WORD. They were asked to call back frequently and thereby increased the traffic and postponing the lay off.

Vroom and Shyam decide to leave the center and start their own website business. Meanwhile Priyanka finds that Mr. Microsoft has lied to her and urged her to marry her, she comes out of the tight corner and apologizes to Shyam and they unite.

COVER: ‘Flower of life’- it combines science with art and is citied in sacred geometry and is also found in the 5000 year old temple of Osiris at Abydos, Egypt.

P.S: Chetan Bhagat hits the block hole once again with One night @ the call center. A lot other striking facets are described by CB in a dazzling manner and brings in goose bumps. Excepting a hat trick from CB, I am eagerly awaiting his next book. I also visualized this one will also succeed as a good movie like the former. If I make one in the future

Even as a lull lecture on computer architecture was going on in my class, I never heard a word as was my habit but this time it was because I was unable to forget about Priyanka, Esha and others (Oh no!!! not that way…) let me make it clear, they were the center characters of the book One night @ the call center by one of my fauvorite authors Chetan bhagat and I was unable to come out of the book which I completed chewing the previous night.

Chetan starts off this book in style as his former one Five point someone (the turning point of the story at the starting of the book, really kindles your interest!). In the prologue he portrays his meeting with a pretty girl on an empty train towards Delhi which has given rise to this book. The girl exemplifies this narrative to Chetan on getting a promise that it would be made into a book after a plethora of heated discussions. Kudos to that pretty lass who has been the root cause for the origin of this classy book.

One night @ the call center is a story about six persons who worked at a call center named Connexions in Gurgaon near Delhi. As they all work in an American call center all their names are altered – Shyam mehra (Sam Marcy), Varun (Vroom) a trendy guy who feels that the ass hole Americans have nothing but money, Radhika (Regina) a caring daughter in law, Esha (Eliza) a hot babe having aspirations of becoming a great model, Priyanka and military uncle. Shyam and Priyanka had broken up from their love due to some misunderstandings and also her psycho mother felt that she could not lead a happy life with an unsettled call center chap. On this day, as usual they were on their way to the WSAG bay, their workplace but this day was out of the ordinary and special.

Shyam narrates his memorable past dates with Priyanka as and when a thought about her disturbs him. These six folks work under an unruly, uncaring moron named Bakshi and all were waiting for banging their boss’ head (Almost everyone wants to do that ;)). Connexions had its base at Boston and was on the verge of right sizing or firing its workforce as the call traffic had reduced. Everyone is made to feel that Americans are fools when he puts up the 35=10 call center strategy i.e. “a thirty five year old American’s brain and IQ is the same as a ten year old Indian’s brain”.

The systems failed at the bay and as everyone were about to stretch out their limbs Priyanka reveals her marriage proposal with Mr. Microsoft (as Shyam calls him…). Shyam was the virtual team leader and he taps the phone line of the emergency landline and eavesdropped her fiancé’s phone call and gets screwed up later when everyone comes to know about that. Everyone one was looking forward priyanka’s rich panorama with a brand new Lexus, posh home with a pool and all other pleasures despite the sad fact that she had dated with Shyam, the pitiable soul.

Meanwhile vroom had a predilection for Esha and has proposed to her twice but she rejected his proposal saying various reasons but the real cause stayed in her. She disliked herself and disclosed off her untold secret to Shyam saying that she had slept with a model agent for he promised her a chance. Radhika a sensible lady cries out when she comes to know that her lovable husband had his sights on another girl. Military uncle had parted off from his son’s family and had his own melancholies. At this juncture the ass hole Bakshi sends off the website proposal of Shyam and vroom to Boston saying it was his own and vroom goes nuts as his long spent hard work has been shattered.

They all go off for a ride to have a drink with all problems loaded. The qualis which the alcohol filled vroom was driving rolled over and soon was balancing on rods with everyone sighting death. No network on their cell and everyone thought that it was the end as vroom’s phone rang displaying GOD calling… everyone was taken in for a surprise and God asked everyone what they wanted in life, if he saved them. All the six lamented and laid down their proposals. They are saved and then head back to their bay and vroom devices the plan of his life (first to save the call center, then to kick off Bakshi and finally to succeed in life).

He hooks on to Bakshi’s system and sends a prank mail to Esha asking her for a night and also vroom takes a print out of all the porn sites which Bakshi had visited and takes control of the call center blackmailing Bakshi. He asks all agents to call their American clients and say that their system has been affected by a virus and may crash down. “To check open MS-WORD and type =rand (200,99) and press enter”, if some rubbish turns out it is confirmed. It works really and is a bug in MS-WORD. They were asked to call back frequently and thereby increased the traffic and postponing the lay off.

Vroom and Shyam decide to leave the center and start their own website business. Meanwhile Priyanka finds that Mr. Microsoft has lied to her and urged her to marry her, she comes out of the tight corner and apologizes to Shyam and they unite.

COVER: ‘Flower of life’- it combines science with art and is citied in sacred geometry and is also found in the 5000 year old temple of Osiris at Abydos, Egypt.

P.S: Chetan Bhagat hits the block hole once again with One night @ the call center. A lot other striking facets are described by CB in a dazzling manner and brings in goose bumps. Excepting a hat trick from CB, I am eagerly awaiting his next book. I also visualized this one will also succeed as a good movie like the former. If I make one in the future

After much hype and kicking off the lazy geek in me, I made my way to the 29th Chennai book fair conducted by the Book sellers and publishers association of South India in Quaid-a-Milleth women’s college, Oops!!! The college girls were given a holiday and no sort of entertainment from that side but still there are oodles and piles of books providing great distraction for any middling book buff like me. I am no statistician but I could say that there were more than a hundred stalls pertaining to various facets ranging from isha yoga to Yann Martel.

They have also has put up refreshment stalls meaning that you will have to satisfy your hunger apart from quenching your literary thirst. The only thing which I could do in the bounds of the fair was window shopping as they sold only authenticated books on MRP rates providing a meager discount for name sake. I never procure books, I generally borrow them and that too original books I’m totally sick of them, sorry the cost. I loitered around for about two hours before entering the real action i.e. the second sorry seventieth hand books and other pirated books sold outside on the platforms. It also doesn’t require an entry fee!!

I mainly went there in search of the book “The hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy by Douglas Adams”, after searching for half an hour I found that book but shit, the whooping cost (Rs.495) tabooed me from buying this book. If any body wants to gift me something, please note down ;), and don’t wait everyday is a birth day for me. Nothing special about this about but many said it’s a nice book and I left out little dejected. If you have the liberty of buying whatever you want (pockets stuffed fully with money) then you are the king.

Then I entered the main arena, I mean the platforms .My friend said that there are a lot of books available outside and it is unnecessary for going inside for the window shopping. I thought of buying a lot of books but under the scorching and that too after two hours walk it was very irksome searching for your fauvorites. Almost all the best sellers are available at throwaway prices (The Da Vinci code costs Rs.300 inside and an exact replica is available outside for Rs.50).

Finally I got these books
i) Digital fortress by Dan brown –bought this because I loved the Da Vinci code very much.
ii) The sky is falling by Sidney Sheldon
iii) Barron’s preparation guide – an impulse stimulated me telling me to do something useful.
iv) The hollow man by Dan Simmons – bought this bcos I got this for 10 rupees, searched a massive lot and picked this one owing that there was something special in the name (best among the worst)
v) The green salamander by Pamela Hill –same reason as above

My searches for a book by one of my fauvorite authoress Agatha Christie also turned out to be in vain and this proclivity because I felt great after completing two of her whodunits in the last week, really stupendous!!! Despite having the money I missed some of the books. One night @ the call center by Chetan bhagat (I enjoyed five point someone very much), chicken soup for the soul (bcos I read a little bit of it in the past and was very interesting), the monk who sold his ferrari, some books by Paulo Coelho and Sidney Sheldon and so on. I think i should go for a hunt tomorrow as the fair concludes the day after and get some of the missed ones.

P.S: I have bought them but the query lies in when I am going to chew them all also I have the books of this semester weighing more than 3 kgs each which I brought home with much difficulty lined up and I have no idea of hooking on to them in the near future.

After much hype and kicking off the lazy geek in me, I made my way to the 29th Chennai book fair conducted by the Book sellers and publishers association of South India in Quaid-a-Milleth women’s college, Oops!!! The college girls were given a holiday and no sort of entertainment from that side but still there are oodles and piles of books providing great distraction for any middling book buff like me. I am no statistician but I could say that there were more than a hundred stalls pertaining to various facets ranging from isha yoga to Yann Martel.

They have also has put up refreshment stalls meaning that you will have to satisfy your hunger apart from quenching your literary thirst. The only thing which I could do in the bounds of the fair was window shopping as they sold only authenticated books on MRP rates providing a meager discount for name sake. I never procure books, I generally borrow them and that too original books I’m totally sick of them, sorry the cost. I loitered around for about two hours before entering the real action i.e. the second sorry seventieth hand books and other pirated books sold outside on the platforms. It also doesn’t require an entry fee!!

I mainly went there in search of the book “The hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy by Douglas Adams”, after searching for half an hour I found that book but shit, the whooping cost (Rs.495) tabooed me from buying this book. If any body wants to gift me something, please note down ;), and don’t wait everyday is a birth day for me. Nothing special about this about but many said it’s a nice book and I left out little dejected. If you have the liberty of buying whatever you want (pockets stuffed fully with money) then you are the king.

Then I entered the main arena, I mean the platforms .My friend said that there are a lot of books available outside and it is unnecessary for going inside for the window shopping. I thought of buying a lot of books but under the scorching and that too after two hours walk it was very irksome searching for your fauvorites. Almost all the best sellers are available at throwaway prices (The Da Vinci code costs Rs.300 inside and an exact replica is available outside for Rs.50).

Finally I got these books
i) Digital fortress by Dan brown –bought this because I loved the Da Vinci code very much.
ii) The sky is falling by Sidney Sheldon
iii) Barron’s preparation guide – an impulse stimulated me telling me to do something useful.
iv) The hollow man by Dan Simmons – bought this bcos I got this for 10 rupees, searched a massive lot and picked this one owing that there was something special in the name (best among the worst)
v) The green salamander by Pamela Hill –same reason as above

My searches for a book by one of my fauvorite authoress Agatha Christie also turned out to be in vain and this proclivity because I felt great after completing two of her whodunits in the last week, really stupendous!!! Despite having the money I missed some of the books. One night @ the call center by Chetan bhagat (I enjoyed five point someone very much), chicken soup for the soul (bcos I read a little bit of it in the past and was very interesting), the monk who sold his ferrari, some books by Paulo Coelho and Sidney Sheldon and so on. I think i should go for a hunt tomorrow as the fair concludes the day after and get some of the missed ones.

P.S: I have bought them but the query lies in when I am going to chew them all also I have the books of this semester weighing more than 3 kgs each which I brought home with much difficulty lined up and I have no idea of hooking on to them in the near future.

Butter, Vennai, makhan, burro, beurre, mantequilla etc (all mean the same!!!), these are the words which loiter around my mind when the thought about this YOU-KNOW-WHAT university and its soaking siblings is invoked inside (got those translations from the new ENCARTA 2006, Microsoft simply rocks!!!). This is predominantly because of its unruly policies and also myriad other facets imposed upon the students by this academia right from the sucking dress code predicament to the recent ban of cell phones, at least the latter has got some concern with education but irrefutably the former is inept.

Still there are a plethora of opportunities and benefits by being a part of this academy or one among the 4, 76,90,345 engineering colleges of Chennai which are under this university such as “How to complete reading a book on Advanced Microprocessors by Thiru.Thanikachalam (local author, where he almost copies everything from a foreign author with some formatting and almost every student prefers this moron’s work) in less than 48 hours” .The number is still growing with the university coming up new schemes commissioned under its new regulations such as

I. Any individual or trust which owns a plinth area of around 500 sq ft is entitled to start an engineering college by paying a lump sum registration fee of Rs.22.56 (includes Rs.2.56 which is equal to 10.2% of the total amount payable to the government as tax).
II. This 500 sq ft odd area is to be partitioned into as many number of class rooms possible depending on the strength of the college and also the building.
III.The college should be sited within 100 km from the city so that the students can travel on a daily basis easily and attend the college without much travel strain.
IV. Also the college can arrange transport facilities by acquiring some 7th or 8th hand buses from outsiders (preferably PTC for their good maintenance) by charging the students a nominal transportation fee of Rs.25000 to Rs.30000 which has been recommended by Justice Mr.Nollamani committee after rigorous research done by this 72 man bench.
V. The university’s latest festive offer, for every three affiliations obtained six affiliation certificates are given for free.

Rush up and avail this limited period offer captioned “You 2 can start an engineering college”. The ultimate aim of this MISSION SHIT is that by the end of the year 2010 every family in tamilnadu should have an engineering college of its own. For more details and to be a part of the mission type shit (i.e.) S-H-I-T and send an SMS to 3636.Standard charges apply.

In order to get a better understanding of the university I have tried to help you out in the form of these…

Frequently Asked Questions

A. The dress code is to be implemented austerely with new rules laid down hence forth. All the circuit branch students are instructed to wear underwear of #FF36F3 colour only on all days and the underwear of the students of other streams should be of #FF45F6 colour with prescribed design patterns only. Surprise checks would be done during break and lunch hours and students not following the colour conventions would be stripped off without more ado. All college principals have been instructed to display the design patterns in the main block notice board and students are advised to refer to the same.

Q. How about the examinations?

A. As you enter the examination hall everyone is given an individual book (not for copying…it is empty), it is called as the answer book consisting 44 pages wherein you are required to fill as many pages as possible within three hours but the high point is that nobody tends to sit inside the hall for three hours and there are also some guys who could fill up only 6 1\2 pages of crap. If you tear the unused pages from all the answer books, we could prepare the electoral list with complete bio data of all Indians for the next 20 years.

Q. How about the evaluation method and something they call as revaluation?

A. With regards to evaluation, I think they weigh the answer books. Oops! Sorry, my mistake! All books have the same weight. I think they have some other complicated method. Revaluation is a process in which on an average 96.34% of the evaluated scripts have to undergo that intricate process one more time after paying some bullshit bucks to the university.

Q. I think there is something called lab examinations and internal assessments.

A. Oh Right, they are conducted at the finale of every semester and your score depends on a lot of murky factors such as sex, built, relative velocity, average strike rate with an additional 5 marks for every time you buy tea and good day biscuits for the examiner.
The most important verity is that if you had asked your examiner to f%$& off during your course tenure then you would be in a total FUBAR* situation during the results.

(*FUBAR-F%$&d Up Beyond All Recognition/Repair)

Q. Hmmm…ok, something about the recent floods and postponements.

A. Thanks are due to Mother Nature for striking indefatigably resulting in the university conducting the examinations in installments. The number of postponements was comparable with the number of times the alphabet ‘a’ is present in the names of Sri Lankan cricketers (sAngAkAArAAA, sAmArAweerAAA, jAyAsuryAAA…).Every match the ‘A’ scores a century despite the failure of the batsmen on a pro rata basis.
But still the failure of MALA was the most devastating, whitewashing a lot of system software answer books (the next day’s exam…)

Q. Anything else to say for future aspirants.

A. Ya. Good luck!

P.S: Stop…! After all , this is the one which has come forward to award a B.E. degree for me(hopes still alive!!!) and all the other aspirants studying in the 4,76,90,345 engineering colleges of Chennai. Long live the VeANNAi University

Butter, Vennai, makhan, burro, beurre, mantequilla etc (all mean the same!!!), these are the words which loiter around my mind when the thought about this YOU-KNOW-WHAT university and its soaking siblings is invoked inside (got those translations from the new ENCARTA 2006, Microsoft simply rocks!!!). This is predominantly because of its unruly policies and also myriad other facets imposed upon the students by this academia right from the sucking dress code predicament to the recent ban of cell phones, at least the latter has got some concern with education but irrefutably the former is inept.

Still there are a plethora of opportunities and benefits by being a part of this academy or one among the 4, 76,90,345 engineering colleges of Chennai which are under this university such as “How to complete reading a book on Advanced Microprocessors by Thiru.Thanikachalam (local author, where he almost copies everything from a foreign author with some formatting and almost every student prefers this moron’s work) in less than 48 hours” .The number is still growing with the university coming up new schemes commissioned under its new regulations such as

I. Any individual or trust which owns a plinth area of around 500 sq ft is entitled to start an engineering college by paying a lump sum registration fee of Rs.22.56 (includes Rs.2.56 which is equal to 10.2% of the total amount payable to the government as tax).
II. This 500 sq ft odd area is to be partitioned into as many number of class rooms possible depending on the strength of the college and also the building.
III.The college should be sited within 100 km from the city so that the students can travel on a daily basis easily and attend the college without much travel strain.
IV. Also the college can arrange transport facilities by acquiring some 7th or 8th hand buses from outsiders (preferably PTC for their good maintenance) by charging the students a nominal transportation fee of Rs.25000 to Rs.30000 which has been recommended by Justice Mr.Nollamani committee after rigorous research done by this 72 man bench.
V. The university’s latest festive offer, for every three affiliations obtained six affiliation certificates are given for free.

Rush up and avail this limited period offer captioned “You 2 can start an engineering college”. The ultimate aim of this MISSION SHIT is that by the end of the year 2010 every family in tamilnadu should have an engineering college of its own. For more details and to be a part of the mission type shit (i.e.) S-H-I-T and send an SMS to 3636.Standard charges apply.

In order to get a better understanding of the university I have tried to help you out in the form of these…

Frequently Asked Questions

A. The dress code is to be implemented austerely with new rules laid down hence forth. All the circuit branch students are instructed to wear underwear of #FF36F3 colour only on all days and the underwear of the students of other streams should be of #FF45F6 colour with prescribed design patterns only. Surprise checks would be done during break and lunch hours and students not following the colour conventions would be stripped off without more ado. All college principals have been instructed to display the design patterns in the main block notice board and students are advised to refer to the same.

Q. How about the examinations?

A. As you enter the examination hall everyone is given an individual book (not for copying…it is empty), it is called as the answer book consisting 44 pages wherein you are required to fill as many pages as possible within three hours but the high point is that nobody tends to sit inside the hall for three hours and there are also some guys who could fill up only 6 1\2 pages of crap. If you tear the unused pages from all the answer books, we could prepare the electoral list with complete bio data of all Indians for the next 20 years.

Q. How about the evaluation method and something they call as revaluation?

A. With regards to evaluation, I think they weigh the answer books. Oops! Sorry, my mistake! All books have the same weight. I think they have some other complicated method. Revaluation is a process in which on an average 96.34% of the evaluated scripts have to undergo that intricate process one more time after paying some bullshit bucks to the university.

Q. I think there is something called lab examinations and internal assessments.

A. Oh Right, they are conducted at the finale of every semester and your score depends on a lot of murky factors such as sex, built, relative velocity, average strike rate with an additional 5 marks for every time you buy tea and good day biscuits for the examiner.
The most important verity is that if you had asked your examiner to f%$& off during your course tenure then you would be in a total FUBAR* situation during the results.

(*FUBAR-F%$&d Up Beyond All Recognition/Repair)

Q. Hmmm…ok, something about the recent floods and postponements.

A. Thanks are due to Mother Nature for striking indefatigably resulting in the university conducting the examinations in installments. The number of postponements was comparable with the number of times the alphabet ‘a’ is present in the names of Sri Lankan cricketers (sAngAkAArAAA, sAmArAweerAAA, jAyAsuryAAA…).Every match the ‘A’ scores a century despite the failure of the batsmen on a pro rata basis.
But still the failure of MALA was the most devastating, whitewashing a lot of system software answer books (the next day’s exam…)

Q. Anything else to say for future aspirants.

A. Ya. Good luck!

P.S: Stop…! After all , this is the one which has come forward to award a B.E. degree for me(hopes still alive!!!) and all the other aspirants studying in the 4,76,90,345 engineering colleges of Chennai. Long live the VeANNAi University